Jumping in Puddles

I realized today the importance and symbolism of jumping in rain puddles. In little ways, for the last two years, I've been allowing the "mess" of a "puddle" because I'm the mother of a little boy. I didn't jump into the adventure of raising a boy well prepared....just prepared enough. When I was pregnant, I often wondered what kind of mother I would be to a little boy, having been raised in a family of all girls. Not only the fact that I lacked exposure to boy stuff, I also worried about my own personality, which could be described as type A: organized, perfectionist, neat freak, and a just a little intense. I worried about worrying over all predicaments little boys get themselves into, not to mention the multiple injuries that can be collected on a boy's body.

However, I determined that, no matter what, I would let my little boy be a little boy. If it totally stressed me out and worried me sick, well, then God would just have to grow me up in that area. I was NOT going to compromise his masculinity to make myself feel at ease. And looking back on these two years with Ethan, I see how God has been gently giving me the grace to lighten up and let go. First, he matched me with a man who is as laid back as they come; so far off the type A chart, I don't even know if there is a chart to describe what type he is. I do know that nothing stresses him and he doesn't show any anxiety even if he is under tremendous pressure. He is gentle and gracious, loving and kind and never impatient. So, before I had Ethan, I had two years to learn to "go with the flow" or come completely unraveled trying to stress out for both of us. God also placed me in a country where nothing happens in an orderly, efficient way. My desire to daily be productive was out the window in very short order (no pun intended). I soon realized that a productive day in Israel meant getting ONE thing done. One errand, one phone call, one of something, but not a bit more! So the combination of adjusting to a laid back culture and two years of a marriage to a laid back guy gave me the perfect preparation for being the mother of a son.

Sometimes it's a conscious decision to let Ethan "destroy" something. I often stop and ask myself, "Is it really that important for him to not climb on....?" "What is the difference between picking up toys and picking up my clothes that he has emptied from the drawers?" "If I want him to be safely near me in the kitchen, then I have to let him empty some cabinets and 'mop' the floor with my dish towels." The good news is that little kids are washable. And I'm happy that Ethan is starting to enjoy helping me pick up and clean but I wouldn't trade that for his natural instinct to make a mess and explore every aspect of his environment.

Today we put on our rain boots, ran outside and laughed and giggled in the rain puddles. There isn't a sound in the world better than that of a child's sheer delight. What did it cost me? Only some time and some wet clothes. What did I gain? JOY....and a very happy, wet, muddy, cute-as-could-be two year old. Priceless.